THE UNTOLD FEELING

i just can't tell what i'm feeling right now...
it's like...
sad, happy, scared..
all in the same feeling..
or should i describe it as..
"mentally unprepared of what will she say"...

she's just get back..
and i don't know what to chat with her..
is it anxious?
or is it nervous?

everytime i see her face on my laptop...
there's so many things that i want to ask her...
but when i picked up my phone...
and tried to text her..
i become blank..
am i scared of losing her?
 or am i so scared that she will hate me??

once she told me...
she wasn't ready to accept me..
she said she want to have time to befriend with everyone...
so i accepted her decision...
but can i really accept it?


last saturday..
i bought her a blouse..
a red and checked with black and cyan colour....
but i never saw her wearing something like that..
will she accept it?

will she ever accept me..
even diseases overcome my health..